Like many women (I am coming to see) I have a hard time ASKING for things for myself. I have a very hard time even admitting that I need help,companionship, assistance, support, or acknowledgment in my everyday life.
Consequently I have been silently struggling with a few things in my life, particularly to do with what I really WANT – Do I want to live with Reg? Do I want to get married again? Do I want to go back to school and get my Masters? Do I want to stay working at the place I am now (and keep my benefits and assistance with school, if I go)? Do I want to have another child? – and feeling like I have to take EVERYTHING on completely alone.
I wish to ask for a SIGN of which path to take.
I wish to ask for a SUPPORT network that will be supportive, not judgmental and discouraging, even when they personally disagree about what is “right” to do.
I wish to ask for relief from the pressure to be “PERFECT” – as a single mother, as an employee, as a girlfriend, as a woman, ect, I am constantly scrutinized and criticized for my shortcomings (even when they aren’t really shortcomings). I wish to ask for the ability to, quite plainly, not give a fuck and do what I need to do – to “screw up” my life, to fail, to stretch, to fall, to grow, and to get things done.
I can so so so totally relate to much of what you said!!!
As you wish for yourself I so lovingly wish this for you also.
I have had to learn …to say yes.
As you wish for yourself, I wish for you also. With one Additions Wish if I may…… May whoever is
“constantly scrutinizing and criticizing you
for what THEY THINK are
your shortcoming” stop making you feel that
way and that you realize how amazing you
are for all you are doing.
As Pam wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
It IS amazing how many of us women struggle with these issues, isn’t it? Not only the asking part, but as you pointed out, this feeling like we have to be and do everything perfectly! I’m a little farther down the road from you, and let me tell you, once we let go of both of those things? Life becomes SO much more joyful and ‘at ease’…
As for the criticizing thing…My one hope is that you don’t do this with yourself!! (another nasty habit we gals can take on if we’re not careful…especially if we have perfectionist tendancies!) As long as your being good to you, then like you say, fuck the rest of them!
As you wish for yourself I wish for you as well!
I have a very similar wish – for guidance! And you ARE perfect…just being you! As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you!!
May the universe provide all that you are looking for. As you wish for yourself, so I truly wish for you also.
As you wish for yourself, I wish for you as well!!!
Oh man…very similar to my wish again! I love doing this because when we all connect, I discover I’m not alone! As you wish for yourself, I wholeheartedly wish for you as well!
It is easier to deal with a footpad than it is with the leech who wants “just a few minutes of your time, please — this won’t take long.” Time is your total capital, and the minutes of your life are painfully few. If you allow yourself to fall into the vice of agreeing to such requests, they quickly snowball to the point where these parasites will use up 100 percent of your time — and squawk for more!
So learn to say No — and to be rude about it when necessary.
Otherwise you will not have time to carry out your duty, or to do your own work, and certainly no time for love and happiness. The termites will nibble away your life and leave none of it for you.
(This rule does not mean that you must not do a favor for a friend, or even a stranger. But let the choice be yours. Don’t do it because it is “expected” of you.)