Every Wednesday Jamie Ridler (from the famous Jamie Ridler Studios, dontcha know?) leads her readers on an adventure into their desires…

This week (although I cannot link directly to the post) Jamie asked:

How do you wish to be LOVED?

I have been mulling it over all day (since I have so very little to do lately other than mull things over) trying to determine HOW it is that I would wish to be loved…

I have a very hard time with LOVE. I have never really come to terms with the concept of “unconditional” love. Maybe it is because in my life love always came with conditions, and more often than not I never managed to meet the conditions in such a way as to meet my interpersonal needs. From my earliest life I remember desperately desiring being loved — being taken care of when I was sick or hurting, feeling free to go to someone with my innermost thoughts and desires, feeling SECURE with another person — and this has always clouded my life. When I was younger I tried all the classic attention seeking behaviours… and when I realized that these were not going to work I stopped hoping that someone would love me and tried to be completely self-sufficient.

More than anything I wish to be be LOVED.

I wish to be taken care of when the world (or illness) gets me down, without being made to feel like a failure or a burden.

I wish to be talked to as if I am IMPORTANT, listened to as if what I have to say has merit (even when I am being whimsical).

I wish to be touched — t0 be hugged, to have someone hold my hand, lean on me, snuggle up against me.

I wish to be cared about…

I wish to have friends again…

I wish to be able to be OPEN to love again