Hey there big world

Hey there big world
Hey there big world

Welcome back!

I’m still struggling to find my “voice” in all of this. It has been a very long time for me (3 or 4 years) since I was an active blogger, and I am still trying to get into writing and posting pictures and sharing more of what I do and who I am with the world. Since I don’t really SELL anything, and I’m not exactly an EXPERT on anything, I sometimes feel like I don’t have anything really relevant to say to anyone on the internets. But, I have a domain name and time (now that my youngest is getting older and likes to play by herself a bit more) so I figured, why the heck not?

Years ago almost all of my writing and creative works were online — I was an avid online Diarist. I wrote compulsively on sites such as Open Diary (now defunct) and then I branched off into my own websites and blogs.

But life got in the way.

First I had G (now 15)… and then I had P (now 12)… and then I went through a divorce from their father which took a lot of my “oomph” and self-confidence and left me feeling wordless. I took a few confidence bombs in my career, and for a bit there it just didn’t seem like I was going in the direction that I wanted to go.

And then I decided to turn things around.

I bought a condo on my own. I started applying to courses to try and get back into a field of study that was more interesting to me. I started dating again. I took my kids on our first (and so far ONLY) vacation to DisneyWorld. I moved in and got married to my current husband, and we blended our families. And then I had S (now 3)…

There has been a period of time since S was born where things reverted a bit to the “not so great” side of things. I got pretty sick with infection in my breast quite soon (7 days) after she was born and so our family had a rough start for the first 3 months while I recovered my strength. When she was 6 months my father passed away from complications of lung/bone cancer and diabetes which further depressed me. And off and on I have continued to struggle with panic attacks, anxiety and depression.

I felt that maybe, just maybe reaching out and writing about my life MIGHT help me now like it did way back in the day when I wrote out how I felt. Little by little I started to reach out to other people who were like me — people who journaled and created and wrote, who loved pens and ink and books and making a bloody mess doing it all. And I started to see that there were others out there who loved the things I loved and shared the things they shared, and were ACCEPTED for who they were.

So… I thought I would try blogging so I could share MORE about myself than just a picture snapshot of my journals. I thought I would create an online space for the things I love and that I realize that OTHER people love too…

So, without further ado…

Hi there! I’m Pam and I am a pen nerd and paper geek. I am a wife. I am a mother and a step mother. I work full time outside my home doing something that I like, but which doesn’t spark much passion in me. I love to create, but I’m a bit “eh” about cleaning up the mess afterwards. I have over 100 blank books, and always the desire to get more. Every time I see new pens — from the cheap ballpoints to expensive fountain pens — I itch to buy them and test them out. I love lists and pictures and writing and colour. I quilt, sew, embroider, and have been known to knit and crochet on occasion.

I am Canadian, and I hate snow (laugh). I am Pagan, but I am very quiet in my beliefs. I love to learn about different view points and religions, traditions and languages, but I hate being asked about my own (so other than me saying it here, I may not mention it often). I am of Irish/Scottish/German descent. I am actively learning Gaelige (Irish) and French. I have been doing Irish Céilí dancing for 6 years now.

I love coffee, and wine. I prefer red wine to white wine, but I will drink either if the mood strikes me. I love dark chocolate.

I spend my days working on MS Excel documents. I have 2 bachelor degrees — Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and Bachelor of Commerce in Production/Operations Management — and I am seeking a way to get into a Masters of Commerce program (preferably in Project Management) so that I might someday move out of Administrative work. I love solving problems and analyzing data, but I am not terribly interested in doing the data entry part of it all…

So… that’s a bit about me… maybe someday I will learn a bit about you…

my Bullet Journal Journey

my Bullet Journal Journey

I have always had a weird fascination with books, most especially blank journal/notebooks. From my earliest memories I have always had various types of notes and notebooks, schedules, and planners… If I see a book that appeals to me, I buy it.


My giant stack of blank journals and notebooks!

Over the years I have collected  and tried many different types of notebooks and journalling “systems”… from online applications, phone apps,  to calendars, daily planners and just sticky note lists.

Many of the methods I tried would work initially, but most ultimately fell by the wayside to be replaced by the next thing that I thought might help. The only thing that seemed consistent is that I kept LISTS, and notebooks, and notes, and snipets… and THINGS…

Enter the BULLET JOURNALsystem.

Now, I expect that this isn’t for everyone, very few things really ARE, but it is simple, flexible… and best of all, it allows me to use up a few of my hoarded NOTEBOOKS!! And since the essence of bullet journaling is that you basically only need a book and a pen, I was MORE THAN READY…

So… I started SIMPLE… I grabbed one of my favourite pocket sized grid Moleskine notebooks (since i had 10 of them just sitting around) and set up my key and my index (very simple, nothing at all fancy)… and started on my journey:


Originally all I did was keep a list of tasks and items I needed to remember for the week.

Originally all I did was keep a list of tasks and items I needed to remember for the week.

It wasn’t very sophisticated. All I did was write down the time frame and then create check boxes (tasks) and circles (appointments/activities) for the week ahead. I would review the list every night, check the things I had accomplished, add anything new that had come up, and cross out anything that I no longer felt was important. Sunday’s I would migrate (or take unaccomplished tasks from the previous week and write them onto the new week’s list) and set up for the week ahead.

I used this very simple list system without any changes for a year…

So, what changed?

After a year of doing the same thing I really wanted to incorporate more creative/art journaling into my daily writing. I didn’t feel anything lacking in my bullet journal, per se, but I did really want to explore all the other creative journaling/writing/planning that I saw on YouTube. Really… have you SEEN what some of these women can do with a PLANNER? The washi tapes and fancy planner stickers and gorgeous hand lettering???

I explored all the planner type YouTubers, and although I loved the way that they decorated… there was just something about it that was not MY STYLE. I loved watching them decorate their pretty Erin Condrens and Kikki.Ks, but I couldn’t imagine myself doing it for myself. While I loved washi tape in my journals and art journals, it wasn’t something I found easy to incorporate into my time management/planning. I wasn’t really too into the “cutsy” type planner stickers that everyone seemed to be buying and selling, even when I loved the colour and patterns that everyone found so easy to put together.

And through an accidental click, I came across a video on YouTube regarding how that person had incorporated the bullet journal system into her life, all the touches she had done to the base system to make it hers. It wasn’t too fancy — a different way to frame the lists, adding a tracker for her expenses — but it got me thinking; if one other person had been thinking about this in a whole different light, maybe OTHERS were as well. So I started searching in earnest through YouTube and through websites, and eventually I came back across Bullet Journal.com and Tiny Ray of Sunshine and her August #BulletJournalChallenge.

That led me back to Instagram (which I had been a part of, but had stopped posting because I couldn’t figure out I way to connect to other people) and participation in the challenge. This in turn led me to review and try new things in my journal:

As I explore, I find new things I want to try. And the great thing about it is that since I create it how I want, I can change the layout easily as I go — if I need more space I can go with a 1 page per day (or even 2 pages per day), I can journal things I try. I can add or subtract things that don’t work.

This is a work in progress — something I want to share as I go along. In later posts I will explain my tests and review them, and point to new ideas and things I love. I’ll review pens I love, and other crafty things and how I can and do use them in my whimsical life…


Welcome (here we try again)

Welcome (here we try again)

I have to admit that I have missed blogging.

From 1998 to 2007 I was a prolific online journaler… although 99% of that happened on a now defunct site called OpenDiary. Off an on before and after that I had dabbled creating websites and blogging on my own. There was always just this need to WRITE.

I’ve had this domain for years, I just wasn’t sure what to do with it. But as I have moved more into art journaling and bullet journaling and just exploring all the things I love, I find that I want to have a place to expand on all the things that I find interesting.

So, more about me:

My name is Pamela. I am 41, married, have 3 biological and 2 step-children that I am raising. I live in Saskatchewan, Canada.

I love cats, notebooks in all forms, all pens and fountain pens, art supplies, art journaling. I am an avid bullet journaller. I spend hours a day practicing handwriting forms. I am studying Irish Gaelige and French. I love graphs and charts and tracking formats. And I want to write about all the things that interest me.